Why A Marriage
Should Never Be Saved
At The Expense
Of A Life
New book, In Defense of Divorce, defends divorce from traditional religious ideas, extenuating the guilt and reserving emotional energy for solving practical issues going forward.
The book explores such questions as:
- Is divorce a sin or a solution?
- Has religion over influenced public opinion on marriage, divorce and remarriage?
- Did the Old Testament allow divorce?
- What did Jesus teach about divorce in Matthew chapter five?
- Does God really hate divorce?
- How did Paul judge divorce matters?
Ennis Pepper, the author, experienced divorce first as a teenager when his parents broke up and later through other family members and friends. As a minister he witnessed the haranguing troubled couples experience when considering divorce and the rejection should they get one. And with a Bachelor of Biblical Studies degree and more than 25 years ministry experience he is able to address this topic confidently with both a biblical and practical perspective.
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Most people think of divorce as something to shun, not defend, so Ennis’ book title raises questions at the start. And since the divorce rate is reaching all time highs there is no indication that the general population lacks the courage to initiate a divorce so why bother defending the issue? Read more
Think Outside The Box
Or Repeat What Everyone
As the story goes Sir Isaac Newton sat in his mother’s garden and observed an apple fall from one of her trees.
Legend says the apple fell on his head. We can’t verify that with certainty but there is good reason to think it might be true.
Apples had fallen from his mother’s tree many times before so this wasn’t new but on this occasion the apple really caught his attention and it stimulated a life long pursuit.
In light of his response, a hit on the head seems likely.
Newton was puzzled. The experience provoked many questions and being the curious person he was, he did what all inquisitive people tend to do. Read more
Everything You Need
If a picture is worth a thousand words then it only follows that blogging is improved manyfold by the inclusion of a few images.
And because that is true smart bloggers will do everything they can to reinforce their blogging points with pics.
It also makes sense to use your own photos or screenshots. The pics you buy or borrow from online portals usually come with conditions, which make me nervous. Take your own pics or borrow them from friends without condition. That works.
The problem is pictures aren’t always internet friendly, even the good ones. They’re often too big and occasionally the exposure or clarity isn’t the best. Solution? Edit the pic online. Read more
Rewards And Consequences
Of The Same Coin
This post is part 2 in the discussion of rewards, the fourth of 4R’s in the series on Good Parenting and focuses on the natural law of cause and effect. What our kids do is a cause. Good parents will help them appreciate the effect.
You can find part 1 here.
Rewards Counterbalance Consequence
You can’t really develop a concept of rewards and ignore consequences and vice versa. One effects the other. They are two sides of the same coin. If we do away with one, rewards or consequences, it is only logical to eliminate the other.
The two ideas need balance. Eliminating or under emphasizing one creates an imbalance and it can work both ways, with rewards or consequence. over emphasizing consequence can be just as damaging as over emphasizing rewards. Maybe more so. Read more
The Only Motivation
The concept of rewards is one idea every parent needs to understand clearly.
Rewards are the positive things we receive – material gifts, praise, recognition – for the constructive things we do and this “doing and receiving” idea can be expressed in many different ways.
Let me share a few with you:
- “No deserving deed should be done for nothing.”
- Or “Every decent action should receive an appropriate reward.”
- Which is another way of saying “No one should do anything expecting nothing in return.”
- And to say it more colloquially, with a bit more flare and in a way we can all relate to, “There ain’t no free lunch.”
We’ve all heard those or similar statements but do most people really believe that? Do they believe the idea applies to all situations equally?
I would say yes, mostly. Not always.
The majority believe this in most situations but when it comes to parenting they change the rules. Instead of teaching kids that every action involves a series of appropriate consequences and rewards they teach them to do things only because it is the right thing to do, implying they should expect nothing in return.
It’s not an uncommon idea and it has an emotionally righteous ring to it but what does it really mean?
Can that possibly be true or are some parents fiddling with the laws of nature? Read more
Controlling All Outcomes
Robs Children of Opportunities
As I said before, good parents begin with the end in view and ask pertinent questions about where the parenting process is going. What do you want your kids to be like? What qualities do they need to have? One obvious answer to those questions is “responsible.” We want our kids to be responsible people.
Well, “responsible” is a rather broad description. It doesn’t give us too much detail so I’ve included the following ideas to break it down a bit. Read more