Dad Got One Thing Wrong

January 8, 2010 by EnnisP
Filed under: Christian Living, Family, Making Money

Don’t misunderstand. I loved and respected my Dad very much. He had his faults, everyone does, but he was generally a reliable bread winner, cared about us, his family, and there were some things about Dad I admire to this day, one of which was his skill at gardening. He loved his gardening!

Unfortunately, there was one thing he got wrong. When I was a youngster, he said I too would develop a love for gardening one day – “growing things in the ground” was the way he put it. He repeated that sentiment many times and it was usually while I was grumbling about being forced to pull weeds, cut grass and rake leaves. I’m a married man of many years now with two grown sons and some grand kids of my own and I’m still waiting for that day.

The truth? I hate gardening! I hated it then and I hate it now. Nothing has changed.

I do like the garden to look nice. I’m not comfortable with it unkept and to me, nothing looks better than fresh cut grass, clean flowerbeds and swept patios and driveways but I do not enjoy taking care of those details. Though I have always had the tools and done these chores occasionally I always come to the same conclusion. Gardening is not in my genes.

Some people might think me a bit off center but my grandmother’s example tells me otherwise.

She was remarkably disciplined and well organized. Her house was always tidy and clean. She epitomized frugality but was very generous to others. Her food was amazing. I salivate now thinking about her “Rock” cookies (no, I don’t know how they got the name but I do know they were good). But there was one thing she couldn’t stand. She hated ironing. She did it but she hated it and, according to her, when she ironed she had bad thoughts about people. Very unusual. She grew up with the generation that live by the adage, “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” and I’m sure their thought patterns followed suit.

Here’s the point. Her attitude toward ironing sums up my attitude toward gardening. I get depressed thinking about it.

Most of my life I have solved the gardening dilemma by hiring someone else to do it or paying the kids when they were too young to know better. They didn’t like it either. This year, however, things are changing.

I finally realized that over the years I had paid a boatload of money to avoid this job. In the last few years alone I have averaged paying $150 a month and over time that really adds up. So, several months back I decided that I would begin doing this work myself. An easy decision to make but not so easy to keep. I knew it would take a special effort to stick to this plan so I decided to spend time getting psyched before jumping in. I had no delusions about conjuring up a “love” for gardening and “cold turkey” didn’t seem like the best strategy.

I set January 1^st as the starting date and decided to make this one of my New Year’s resolutions. To prepare myself mentally I thought through all the reasons why this was a great plan. These “good reasons” would help me get attached to the plan emotionally. None of the ideas I thought of are sufficient motivation alone but all of them together helped push me over the hump.

It saves money. Recent economic trends, none of which are good, have made me keenly aware of the budget and the first rule of financial security is “do no unnecessary spending.” Not really but it sounds good and fits with the advice most people give.
It reduces debt and encourages investment. Another problem I faced in recent years was an unhealthy debt load. It was never out of control but I realized it was costing me a bundle. For a good read on how much debt cost go here. When I got serious enough to turn it around I also got excited about investment possibilities. The debt is mostly cleared now and I’m realizing that the money I save can go toward genuine investments like real estate, which if bought at the right price is a little more resilient when the economy takes a dip.
It is good exercise. Gardening works muscles and burns calories. I can think of better ways to do that but with all the other benefits this is a real bonus.
It says, “I love you” to the wife. My wife also hates a messy garden. In fact, I call her the dirt buster because dust doesn’t even get the chance to settle in our house. She knows how averse I am to gardening so when I make the effort she reads that as a very clear “I love you.”

My Dad did have other recreations. He tried fishing for a while and I loved that. We spent many hours together on a small boat in the middle of the ocean most weekends for four or five years running. I never realized what a benefit that was until I was older but it only lasted a short while

He was also in a bowling league. I was old enough to remember this but too young to participate so it made no lasting impression on my life but, HIS love of gardening never diminished. He continued gardening till the day he died and he did some amazing things.

Even now as I think back, I am impressed. He planted fruit trees at every house we lived in, planted pecan trees, maintained vegetable gardens, grafted some very exotic flowers (a very tedious and time consuming process) and successfully grew all sorts of other things. I can’t remember all the names. He was really an artist when it came to “growing things in the ground.”

And, as soon as my fingers were nimble enough to wrap around the shaft of a weed I was conscripted. I know he thought it would be the love of my life also. Unfortunately, he was wrong and I never made my Dad proud with my gardening abilities. I would, however, like to think he appreciates my reasons for gardening now.

What do you THINK!AboutIt?