“Children Need Little Attention” – John Rosemond
The following links access the most competitive prices. Using them helps defray expenses for this website.
Chapter Review – “The Parent-Centered Family”
Child raising is a science, an art, a project, a responsibility and a privilege.
It requires nurturing skills, intelligence, prayer, time, energy, determination, intentionality and desire.
Sounds daunting but not too worry sacrificing oneself is not required.
In fact, John Rosemond says parenting done properly is not all consuming and the process can be quite rewarding for both parent and child.
In the very first chapter of his book, The New Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children
…The most destructive myth ever manufactured and sold to parents…but almost universally subscribed to…children need lots of attention.
John says, “the secret to raising happy healthy children is to give more attention to the marriage than you give to the children.” He also suggests that giving your children too much attention is like over feeding them and we are just as responsible to limit the amount of attention they receive as we are to manage their intake of food. Excessive amounts of either can have disastrous effects.
These aren’t his words but he implied that giving a child too much attention turns them into self-absorbed individuals with over inflated opinions of their importance to society. They become all consuming social parasites. Everyone must constantly hear them, see them and/or entertain them.
John does say that the more attention a parent gives a child beyond what they really need, the less capacity they develop for: Read more
The New Six Point Plan For Raising Children by John Rosemond
The following links access the most competitive prices. Using them helps defray expenses for this website.
The New Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children
Although John is a qualified psychologist who specializes in working with parents, children and families, much of his insight comes from raising his own children, Eric and Amy. Though his ideas are not fashionable, they aren’t new and he argues his points powerfully and illustrates them generously with anecdotal material from his experiences as a parent and a psychologist. You won’t find a more thoughtful and clear presentation of practical ideas for raising children.
He introduces the book with strong arguments for changing the way we approach parenting and then suggests six basic ideas to relieve parenting pressure and help each of us be more effective:
- His forward Read This First argues that “the ultimate purpose of parenting is to help children out of our lives.” That idea alone is worth its weight in gold but is usually hidden behind all sorts of other sentimental child raising ideas and rarely gets a mention.
- The Parent-Centered Family in which he argues that constantly lavishing attention on our children is like giving them far too much food.
- The Voice of Authority suggests that children can and should obey their parents and he makes it clear that “asserting authority” does not qualify as “abuse.”
- The Roots of Responsibility suggests that children only learn from their failures – which are inevitable – if parents don’t protect them from the consequences.
- The Fruits of Frustration makes it clear that it is OK to say “no” to our children instead of meeting their every whim. Frustration is a normal part of every life and leads to desirable outcomes when managed well.
- Toys and Play points out that an overabundance of toys often leads to “boredom” in our young. “Play” should be the outcome of imagination. It comes from the inside and is not induced by external input.
- Television and Children argues that the amount of time a child watches TV – excessive according to surveys – is just as damaging as the themes we try to avoid.
Every chapter ends with a series of questions related to the chapter theme and answered by John. The book also has a closing and ends with Rosemond’s Bill of Rights for Children.
The book is clearly written, well argued philosophically, substantiated by science and includes plain old practical everyday wisdom which many psychologists have buried beneath new age ideas and clouded with semantics. Read more
Book Review: The Sacred Meal by Nora Gallagher
The following links access the most competitive prices. Using them helps defray expenses for this website.
If you are looking for a strictly theological analysis of Communion then The Sacred Meal
Although theology is exciting to every minister, especially those in waiting, without a measure of humanity, like doe without yeast, it just doesn’t rise. Instead of melting in your mouth it breaks your teeth.
Yes, theology is significant but when not well mixed with life it becomes academic, cold, hard, stiff, mechanical, single dimensional and pretty much useless for anything other than a verbal fist fight. Nora illustrates that without saying it.
Don’t get me wrong. Nora doesn’t bypass theology. She is preacher-in-residence at Trinity Episcopal Church, Santa Barbara – otherwise known as Anglican – and is familiar with all the arguments associated with this ordinance (sacrement) but instead of joining in the usual fray associated with this tradition she speaks from the heart, draws on her own experience and touches the human side of the issue.
And she does this in spite of the fact that no other denomination observes the practice more monotonously than Episcopalians. Every service, every week. Instead of offending anyone’s theology she broadens the view and gives it a fuller perspective. Read more
“The Final Summit” by Andy Andrews
The following links access the most competitive prices. Using them helps defray expenses for this website.
In The Final Summit
Although fictional, he draws lessons from the real life experiences of many well known leaders from the past. He even sprinkles in anecdotes from a few that aren’t so well known. Andy takes more of a “how-it-was-done” approach to solving life’s problems rather than just give us another missive on what modern experts say.
The book is practical, philosophical, theological and historical.
The story line focuses on a final summit at which the main character of the book, David Ponder, along with many great leaders from the past – all dead but in heaven – will confer in finding the two word answer to one significant question:
What should humanity do, individually and collectively, in order to restore itself to the pathway toward successful civilization?
Obviously, the question assumes humanity has strayed from the path and they are close to doom. The answer provides practical advice for getting realigned.
There was one very interesting and practical tidbit that didn’t directly apply to the question but is useful none the less. Andy gleans insights from two leaders, Winston Churchill and Abraham Lincoln, on how to handle depression. Very relevant for people today.
Philosophically the book explores ideas such as hope, wisdom, courage, self-discipline and character all of which are obvious choices for the answer but none of which are exactly right. Although none are THE answer all of them are illustrated clearly in the discussion.
Andy plays a little with theology, humanizing the historical figures who attended the summit. Winston Churchill smokes his cigars, several attendees show signs of age and they freely express their anger and frustration. These touches are useful because it makes the story a bit more relate-able to earthlings, the ones for whom the book was written. Read more
Review: The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman
The following links access the most competitive prices. Using them helps defray expenses for this site.
In The Five Love Languages
He also popularizes the concept of the “love tank” which, though unseen, every person has. The level to which this tank is filled determines how loved a person feels and this in turn produces in them a sense of significance, self-worth and security. Or not.
When the love tank is full, he says, your spouse “will move out to reach his highest potential in life.” When it is empty you will find yourself sleeping with the enemy.
This tank is filled when one partner loves his or her spouse in the right way, i.e., the way they want to be loved and love can be expressed in one of five different ways which he refers to as languages. Each person responds to only one of those languages primarily. The most important point of the book is…
A person can feel unloved even when their partner has good character and does many apparently loving things. They feel loved only when their spouse identifies their particular love language and learns to speak it well everyday.
Simply stated the five love languages are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
Dr. Chapman suggests that many failed or failing marriages could be revitalized if the couples would identify and learn to speak their mates love language. It almost sounds too good to be true but he backs up his claim with examples of couples he has coached through this learning process successfully.
Several of his clients refer to the effect as “miraculous” and from the descriptions, some of them seemed hopeless. Read more
Tim Pepper - Beautiful Frustration