A Great Mother
Need Not Be
A Perfect Person
There are many great examples of motherhood in the Bible. Sara, Jochebed and Hannah always come to mind but what made them notable was their great faith.
Not faith in the general sense of the word. It was the faith associated with Motherhood. The faith required to become a mother, i.e., get pregnant, or to be a mother. Some struggled with both kinds of faith but all of them wrestled with the kind of faith it takes to shape the life of a child.
The distinction is important. Faith isn’t the same for every person.
But, here is the question. We can make endless observations about the Motherly skills of these ladies from what we read in the Bible but what would be interesting, is to know what their children might say about them.
For example: Read more
Mom’s Voice Is Always Heard
Even When She Is Gone
We celebrate “Mom” only one day a year but her influence is evident every day in the lives of her children. Through them she’s everywhere. She rubs off. Her influence is subtle but the effects are very real. Sometimes she’s intentional and sometimes not, but she always leaves a mark.
For those who doubt this, the following observations are offered as proof that Mom really gets into your head.
Mom Is Universal, Timeless and 24/7
Mom is not a localized concept or historical trend. She doesn’t come and go. She is everywhere and for all time.
There’s never been a generation where Mom-hood wasn’t relevant. There’s never been a person who didn’t have a Mom. There’ never been a person who didn’t love a Mom. If not their own then another.
The only two people who didn’t have a mother were the first man and the first woman. Mom is the soil in which every life germinates, literally. She is the first person we touch and through that touch we share feelings, nutrition, experiences – both good an bad, and if science is correct, she shapes our taste for food and music even in the womb. And all of that before we are born. Read more
Rewards And Consequences
Of The Same Coin
This post is part 2 in the discussion of rewards, the fourth of 4R’s in the series on Good Parenting and focuses on the natural law of cause and effect. What our kids do is a cause. Good parents will help them appreciate the effect.
You can find part 1 here.
Rewards Counterbalance Consequence
You can’t really develop a concept of rewards and ignore consequences and vice versa. One effects the other. They are two sides of the same coin. If we do away with one, rewards or consequences, it is only logical to eliminate the other.
The two ideas need balance. Eliminating or under emphasizing one creates an imbalance and it can work both ways, with rewards or consequence. over emphasizing consequence can be just as damaging as over emphasizing rewards. Maybe more so. Read more
The Only Motivation
The concept of rewards is one idea every parent needs to understand clearly.
Rewards are the positive things we receive – material gifts, praise, recognition – for the constructive things we do and this “doing and receiving” idea can be expressed in many different ways.
Let me share a few with you:
- “No deserving deed should be done for nothing.”
- Or “Every decent action should receive an appropriate reward.”
- Which is another way of saying “No one should do anything expecting nothing in return.”
- And to say it more colloquially, with a bit more flare and in a way we can all relate to, “There ain’t no free lunch.”
We’ve all heard those or similar statements but do most people really believe that? Do they believe the idea applies to all situations equally?
I would say yes, mostly. Not always.
The majority believe this in most situations but when it comes to parenting they change the rules. Instead of teaching kids that every action involves a series of appropriate consequences and rewards they teach them to do things only because it is the right thing to do, implying they should expect nothing in return.
It’s not an uncommon idea and it has an emotionally righteous ring to it but what does it really mean?
Can that possibly be true or are some parents fiddling with the laws of nature? Read more
Controlling All Outcomes
Robs Children of Opportunities
As I said before, good parents begin with the end in view and ask pertinent questions about where the parenting process is going. What do you want your kids to be like? What qualities do they need to have? One obvious answer to those questions is “responsible.” We want our kids to be responsible people.
Well, “responsible” is a rather broad description. It doesn’t give us too much detail so I’ve included the following ideas to break it down a bit. Read more