3 “Last Supper” Truths We Never Mention

April 23, 2014 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Christian Living, Church, Personal Development 

Meal time was Facebook for most of human history.

The Lord’s Supper
Nourishes Relationships Too

The Lord’s Supper is usually mentioned and often observed during the Easter season and there is good reason for that. It forms a significant part of the resurrection story. It makes sense. It was the last moment of sanity before the arrest of Jesus when everything fell apart.

Our church always observes the Lord’s Supper during Easter but not the stripped down version. We try to create a meal-like atmosphere. Not a full blown meal but as close as we can get.

It was during a meal that Jesus instituted the symbolism of wine-to-blood and bread-to-body so there is nothing in a meal that diminishes that truth. In fact, the history of meal-time adds richness to the idea.

Unfortunately, the sense of “meal” is no longer the foundation for this memorial and the names we give it don’t help much either – communion, holy communion, Eucharist, sacrament, ordinance – but there are at least three good reasons not to rethink our approach. Read more

Good Parenting: Fourth of 4R’s – Rewards, Part 2

January 27, 2014 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Family, Parenting, Personal Development 

What Can You Give

Rewards And Consequences
Two Sides
Of The Same Coin

This post is part 2 in the discussion of rewards, the fourth of 4R’s in the series on Good Parenting and focuses on the natural law of cause and effect. What our kids do is a cause. Good parents will help them appreciate the effect.

You can find part 1 here.
 

Rewards Counterbalance Consequence

You can’t really develop a concept of rewards and ignore consequences and vice versa. One effects the other. They are two sides of the same coin. If we do away with one, rewards or consequences, it is only logical to eliminate the other.

The two ideas need balance. Eliminating or under emphasizing one creates an imbalance and it can work both ways, with rewards or consequence. over emphasizing consequence can be just as damaging as over emphasizing rewards. Maybe more so. Read more

Good Parenting: Fourth of 4R’s – Rewards, Part 1

January 25, 2014 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Family, Parenting, Personal Development 

Personal sacrifice with no clear purpose in view is only marginally different to suicide.

Eliminating Rewards
Makes Consequence
The Only Motivation

The concept of rewards is one idea every parent needs to understand clearly.

Rewards are the positive things we receive – material gifts, praise, recognition – for the constructive things we do and this “doing and receiving” idea can be expressed in many different ways.

Let me share a few with you:

  • “No deserving deed should be done for nothing.”
  • Or “Every decent action should receive an appropriate reward.”
  • Which is another way of saying “No one should do anything expecting nothing in return.”
  • And to say it more colloquially, with a bit more flare and in a way we can all relate to, “There ain’t no free lunch.”
  • We’ve all heard those or similar statements but do most people really believe that? Do they believe the idea applies to all situations equally?

    I would say yes, mostly. Not always.

    The majority believe this in most situations but when it comes to parenting they change the rules. Instead of teaching kids that every action involves a series of appropriate consequences and rewards they teach them to do things only because it is the right thing to do, implying they should expect nothing in return.

    It’s not an uncommon idea and it has an emotionally righteous ring to it but what does it really mean?

    Can that possibly be true or are some parents fiddling with the laws of nature? Read more

Good Parenting: Third of 4R’s – Responsibility, Part 2

January 25, 2014 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Family, Parenting, Personal Development 

Commitments aren't really made until they are kept.

Controlling All Outcomes
Robs Children of Opportunities
To Develop

 

As I said before, good parents begin with the end in view and ask pertinent questions about where the parenting process is going. What do you want your kids to be like? What qualities do they need to have? One obvious answer to those questions is “responsible.” We want our kids to be responsible people.

Well, “responsible” is a rather broad description. It doesn’t give us too much detail so I’ve included the following ideas to break it down a bit. Read more

Good Parenting: Third of 4R’s – Responsibility, Part 1

January 24, 2014 by · Leave a Comment
Filed under: Family, Parenting, Personal Development 

Consequence inoculates against future failure.

Failure Is The Teaching Moment
Consequence The Teaching Tool

 

You can’t teach responsibility in a classroom.

You can teach the theory. You can define the words but you can’t convey the real meaning of responsibility outside of experience, which involves two things we don’t like very much. The first one is consequence. It is the primary teaching tool.

The second one is failure. You don’t have a consequence unless you have a failure, which means failure is a part of the formula too. That might sound discouraging but when you do the math, the emotional math, it works.

Failure plus consequence equals “Aha!” I get it! But the formula doesn’t always compute because parents add another element to the equation, protectionism. It changes the outcome completely. Read more

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Tim Pepper: Beautiful Frustration
 

Tim Pepper - Beautiful Frustration

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