A Person’s Capacity
Is Determined By
The Number Of Secrets
In a previous post I covered 11 Negative Friendships To Avoid. Now that that’s out of the way we can look at the positive benefits of a great friendship. These are the things we’re all looking for and hope to find in a friendship.
A good friendship is . . . Read more
Friends Are Rarely
Friendships Aren’t Always
The word Friend, like the word Family, has been romanticized. It evokes idealized images of a perfect world and warm fuzzies for all.
The assumption is, a true friend can only be upright and a friendship can only be good for us. The reality is, again like family, a friendship can sometimes be very bad.
But we can’t allow that possibility to put us in a permanently guarded state. Sometimes the friends we make are the only ones available. They’re in our face, so to speak. We don’t have a choice.
Imperfect friends and friendships can still be very good. What we must avoid are the extremes.
Defining The Negative Friendship
Negative friendships happen all the time and may be comfortable in the short run but are more harmful than good over the long haul. All friendships have hurtful moments. Negative friendships are weighted heavily on the hurtful side.
One reason we gravitate to these not-so-good-for-us friendships is they are like crutches. They reinforce our disabled thinking rather than change it, and few people desire real change. Having a friend whose life endorses our faults relieves the pressure.
Like the song says . . .
Some of them want to abuse you and some of them want to be abused.
It’s easier to stay as we are, and people who mesh with that are good for the friendship even if the friendship isn’t good.
That’s not how friendships are supposed to work but it does happen.
The truth is Friendship implies Equality, and good ones involve give and take. I wouldn’t say friendships will ever be absolutely equal, or absolutely good for us, but there should be a balance.
The following emotionally unbalanced extremes are ones we should avoid. Read more
No One Is Automatically
A Friend Or Enemy
Not Even Family
It’s very easy to think of friends and family as two different things. We inherit family and we choose friends, but can they migrate? Can one ever be the same as the other?
The Bible mentions three different categories of individuals other than family:
- Everyone else in between
But the relationships we have with people are dynamic. No one is born a Friend or Enemy. Instead everyone starts out in the middle, neutral, and then moves one way or the other. We might illustrate it like this:
Family isn’t represented on this graph and rightly so. No family member automatically fits into any one of these categories. There’s overlap as the following illustration shows.
Obviously, we tend to think of family members as “like” friends, but are they really? We also never associate family with enemies even when the comparison is justified. Read more
God Uses Illness
To Heal Us
In Different Ways
Mention John chapter 11 and most people think of Resurrection. No surprise there. The chapter records Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead and most sermons on that chapter focus mostly on that event. It’s the dominant topic. It’s hard to study the chapter and not think about resurrection but it’s also obvious. Maybe there is something else in the chapter we should look for.
If we poke the context a little other lessons might surface. Read more
From Cadence To Vitality
In Six Steps
Uploading training data from your Cadence Cycle training sessions to your Discovery Vitality account is easy. It can be done without a smart phone or a personal cycling computer. All you need is a connection to the internet. Read more