NowTHINK!AboutIt

Avoiding Hackneyed...Making Sense

Marriage And Change Are Synonymous

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Marriage starts as a sapling and become a full grown tree.

Refusing To Change
Stunts One’s Growth

I’m married. I like being married! It’s great and I wouldn’t change a thing.

My wife is a beautiful person, an incredible woman, a wonderful partner, and a great friend – as in best. I am grateful every day that she accepted my proposal and loves me still.

I actually joke that God partially blinded her for life on the day I proposed.

But I think we are lucky. Not every marriage is happy. Marital experience can range anywhere from bliss to dysphoria. In extreme cases it’s dangerous.

That’s a strange thing to say. You don’t associate danger with something God intended to make us secure but we all know it’s true. Something as potentially wholesome as marriage can become a war zone.

The real question has to do with change, though. People change people. It’s a fact. There’s is no such thing as a neutral relationship. Every person within emotional/intellectual/cultural range exerts influence.

And that applies to all people, not just family: neighbors, schoolmates, friends (close and not so close), teachers, employers, fellow employees, colleagues and more.

Accents illustrate the point. Everyone has an accent but no one has any recollection of trying to form one. It just happens. We become like the people around us.

We don’t even know where accents come from but accents are evidence that each one of us is influenced by the people around us whether we want that or not. This truth has both positive and negative effects.

One bully can bruise your psyche for life, the negative. One good teacher can unleash your possibilities, the positive.

But what about marriage? Is any relationship closer? Should we be surprised that marriage changes us in the deepest and most profound ways? Hopefully in good ways but, good or bad, marriage changes you. You must expect it and be open for it to happen. It works best when we approach it with the right attitude. [Read more…]

Jimbo Fisher Is Neither Loss Nor Gain

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Jimbo moves from FSU to Texas A & M

This May Be
A Good Thing

Jimbo Fisher just finished eight seasons with highly recognized achievement as head coach for the Florida State University football program and now he’s moving on to Texas A & M. He’s taking on another head coaching job but this time in a conference that is most unforgiving.

It’s one of those jobs where if you don’t do well, and very quickly, you may as well pack your bags.

Jimbo seemed to do well at Florida State but all that’s in the past now. The big question is how will he do in the future? Will the next stint fare as well for him?

Whatever happens, it won’t be easy. The conference situation alone is difficult enough but that’s just the obvious. Adding more stress to an already difficult situation, Jimbo negotiated the highest head coaching paycheck ever (7.5 mill a year) and that from a school with a mediocre past. Even Gus Malzahn’s new contract is for less (7 mill annually) and the upgrade came only after his team bumped off Alabama and Georgia in the regular season.

That’s not easy to do at any time, under any circumstances, and you can bet your best fan jersey it won’t be repeated by Jimbo in the near future, other than in his dreams. You can also bet TA & M will be expecting no less.

So, the question is this? Is Jimbo crazy or is he one of the best coaches that ever walked planet earth. Important question! Let’s look at the history.

If we go by the numbers, it all sounds good. Jimbo sports many medals on his lapel:

  • Win-Loss record: 83-23 in eight years as head coach.
  • His number of wins for the first seven years was second only to Nick Saban, who could arguably be called football’s master of organizational and psychological skills.
  • Three conference championships.
  • One national championship.
  • 29 players taken in the NFL draft in a three year period – a modern day collegiate record.
  • Three quarterbacks drafted in the first round.

Those numbers represent only his tenure at FSU. He’s been the quarterbacks’ coach and/or offensive coordinator at several high profile schools including LSU and has worked magic with quarterbacks and game plans. He was assistant at LSU when they won the National Championship in 2003.

These are not shabby credentials but how do we read these numbers? What do they really mean? Is he, in fact, that good or is there another way to interpret the data?

Obviously, he’s a talented man. No one would suggest he lacks skills. He can recruit. He understands the game of football as well as any coach. He’s seen it from many perspectives. Even Nick Saban admits Jimbo coordinates offensive play as well as any in the game. And he’s coached some great quarterback talent to stardom in the NFL.

But what I’ve said about Jimbo applies to a long list of coaches at many levels in collegiate ball. Every championship team has coaches who make the same contributions but most of them never wear the head coaches hat or receive unimaginable paychecks.

So, again, we have to ask. Do these numbers represent hardcore evidence that Jimbo is the next great man to hold a position from which many have fallen? Or is it all just circumstantial? Texas A & M is betting on the former. I think we should all be a little nervous for such a historied program.

I have to admit up front that as a die-hard Seminole fan, I questioned Jimbo’s head coaching style from day one. I didn’t say anything before now because I was concerned about objectivity. Replacing Bowden is not an easy thing to do. Bowden fans, like myself, don’t always see straight when making comparisons. It’s not easy warming up to a Bowden replacement.

But that’s how I saw it. Jimbo always seemed to be a nice person – one of the good guys. He seemed to know football well, but I never got the sense that he was in control. His on-field presence was a bit explosive, erratic, angry. He always seemed agitated. It appeared that he was too involved in the play by play.

That was my first impression. That alone made me nervous.

As time passed, there were other issues that seemed to emerge.

I readily admit that, although an avid spectator of football, especially college football, I am not an aficionado. There are nuances to the game I do not and probably will never understand. I admit that Jimbo has far more knowledge and insight into football than I.

But, I doubt seriously that he understands football any better than any other coach with the same number of years playing and working in the field.

So, I would like to put aside the deep nuanced analysis of Jimbo’s efforts at FSU and make a few broad observations that indicate Jimbo may not be as effective as some suggest. [Read more…]

What I’m Thankful For

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Family!

Who Believes In You

Today is Thanksgiving and, obviously, it is the day to be thankful. But rather than be thankful generally speaking, I decided to mention specifics so this is a list of things for which I’m thankful. The list isn’t exhaustive. I only mention a few things but there’s one item, in particular, I consider most important. Here goes:

I’m thankful my blessings far outweigh my problems

I can easily count my problems. My blessings, however, are numberless.

I’m thankful there is a day to focus on the blessings instead of the problems

Most days, problems loom. We can feel surrounded. It’s only natural. Thanksgiving changes the focus. Helps us put things into perspective.

Remember, the more you talk about or think about or focus on a problem, the bigger it gets especially if you don’t solve it. That may be why the Bible tells us to think on virtuous and praiseworthy things rather than the other stuff.

I’m thankful there is a day that reminds us to refocus.

I’m thankful that some people love to cook

T-day is loaded with great food: turkey, ham, beans, sweet potato souffle, pecan pie and more but if it was up to me, the entire meal would be store bought. Other than eggs or oatmeal, I don’t cook. Never had the desire and, honestly, I wouldn’t be upset if the people who do the cooking took the day off.

But, fortunately, some people actually enjoy cooking. It relaxes them. It’s a gift and I’m thankful for every mouth full.

I’m thankful for family

This is the important one.

Everyone assumes they know what family is, but I’m not so sure. The word “Family” evokes both good and bad feelings. One person hates his or her parents. Another can’t imagine life without them. One person is absorbed in their married partner. Another seems indifferent.

The legal definition, of course, is exactly the same for everyone but family is more than just a legal relationship. Attitude is far more significant than benefaction.

You’re my child. I am legally responsible for your needs. I’ll look bad if I don’t meet them.

That captures the legal aspect of family. It doesn’t define family the way it is meant to be.

There’s a better way.

Family is any person with whom you have a connection if the well being of that person is something for which you have a genuine interest, blood relation or not, and the attitude goes both ways.

A family member is that person who you really want to see do well. You’re excited when they excel. In fact, you expect it. You never judge their failure but you don’t accept it either. They may not share DNA with you but the connection emotionally is strong enough to overcome that.

My wife, for example, doesn’t share DNA with me but there is no person who has accepted me more than she. And vice versa. I know she is interested in my well being and wants me to do well. The feeling is mutual.

I wouldn’t say our relationship is equal. There is no such thing as an absolutely, full-on equal relationship. But if she does badly or feels badly, I hurt. Again, it’s mutual and we both know it.

This is why team members will often refer to each other as family. They aren’t biologically connected but they have no problem making sacrifices so the other person and the team as a whole can do well.

Family are the people who believe in us and we in them. I’m thankful that T-day is a time to celebrate that.

The Truth Shall Set You Free

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Unflinching bias is the worst kind of bondage.

Bias May Become
Obstinance
Before It Becomes
Repentance

John chapter 8 represents a pivotal point in the relationship between Jesus and the Pharisees. It wasn’t the last time Jesus spoke to them or responded to their questions but it does record one of the longest single conversations Jesus had with the religious leaders in Jerusalem. And it didn’t end well.

It took place about 29 AD which means Jesus was approximately two-thirds into His three-year public ministry. The Pharisees had argued and debated with Jesus for two years and even talked about killing Him.

Things were escalating. In the end of John 8, they attempted to stone Him.

Nothing New

There is very little new content in this chapter. Apart from the opening few verses (the woman caught in adultery), the issues had been mentioned before.

Overview

The Pharisees complained in chapter eight that Jesus had no evidence for what He claimed. They knew this wasn’t true. Everyone else knew this wasn’t true and Jesus did respond to their accusations but one of the most important statements He made was to those who believed. What He said has inspired and stimulated thought ever since.

You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free. (John 8:32)

But getting back to the Pharisees, just to show how misleading their claim was, following are the many times and ways Jesus was attested to. All the references are from the Gospel of John.

  • John Baptist said He was the light of every person, 1:8. This is critical because everyone recognized John Baptist as a prophet, even the Pharisees. They didn’t like him but they couldn’t deny he was a prophet.
  • John Baptist also said Jesus was at the Father’s side, 1:18.
  • Jesus did many miracles in Jerusalem, 2:23. These miracles happened following the cleansing of the Temple and in response to the Pharisees request for a sign of His authority to clean the temple (v. 18). It was these miracles that prompted Nicodemus to confess, “We know you are a teacher come from God.” (3:2)
  • John Baptist also said God has placed all power in the hands of Jesus, 3:35.
  • Jesus referred to John Baptist as a witness to Him, 5:31-35.
  • He reminds the Pharisees that His miracles are a witness, 5:36.
  • Scriptures are a witness to Jesus, 5:39.
  • Moses was a witness, 5:45-46.
  • Crowds were a witness (they wanted to make Him King), 6:14-15.
  • His ability to teach was a witness, 7:15, 46.
  • Logical arguments were a witness, 7:21-24. Jesus compared His healing of a man on the Sabbath to the Pharisees custom of circumcising on the Sabbath.

In spite of so much evidence, the Pharisees still insisted there was nothing to back up the testimony of Jesus.

How The Pharisees Responded

In spite of the evidence, the Pharisees’ responses are dismissive, defensive and sarcastic.

  • They accuse Jesus of self-promotion.
  • They asked where Jesus’ father was, even though they knew that no one had seen God.
  • They asked if He was planning to commit suicide.
  • They asked Him who He was, a question that had been asked and answered many times.
  • They assumed they weren’t in bondage.
  • They claimed Abraham as their father, as if that made them privileged.
  • Then they claimed God as their father.
  • They call Jesus a demon-possessed Samaritan.
  • They deny eternal life.
  • They claimed Abraham could never have known of Jesus since he was long dead before Jesus came.
  • They attemtp to stone Jesus.

The Pharisees were clearly being obstinant. There was no open discussion or respectful debate. They weren’t asking questions or sincerely seeking answers. They were not offering rational arguments. Their intent was to cause trouble. Every effort to discredit Jesus had failed and the frustration bled through.

[Read more…]

Jesus Mingled With Many Ethnic Groups

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Ethnic means different not bad.

Jesus Focused
On What We Have
In Common

Ethnicity is a fact of life. Everyone is ethnic. You, me, everyone. No one can escape this truth.

Of course, if you’re like me, you’re wondering, “What the heck is ethnic?” Or rather, “What do people mean when they use the word?”

And when you look around, you discover it’s not so easy to define and often more difficult to apply.

The word is frequently invoked these days but that doesn’t mean it is clearly understood.

Mystery reigns.

You hear it often because it is the new political catchword for both liberal and conservative policymakers.

Even worse is the fact that the word often connotes one of two negative vibes: condescension or smugness.

General discussions or even a passing reference to any ethnic group comes across as condescending:

Those poor people. How strange!

And if you happen to be a member of said group and you find no way to stop the conversational finger-pointing, you eventually develop a smug, defensive attitude, which becomes the impetus for political action or in extreme cases, revolution.

The last two US Presidents illustrate the point. Obama was perceived as ethnically generous. Trump not so much. Obama spoke respectfully of those who didn’t fit in with mainstream America. Trump wants to build a wall. But both, regardless the predisposition, spoke/speak downward.

And it must be remembered that the President, whatever his bias, presides in the highest office in a country whose message to every immigrant is:

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, yearning to breathe free!

Those masses come from every possible direction. They have many things in common. Ethnic identity isn’t one of them.

Like it or not, the US populace is a living, breathing, ever-changing example of ethnic blending. The American Way is a hybrid and stays in a constant state of flux.

More importantly, the laws of the land, at least in the US, don’t define individual tastes. They don’t create ethnic boundaries or allow ethnic shaming but they do regulate how citizens respond when preferences conflict.

That is the important truth to remember. The US version of democracy doesn’t feature one ethnic background at the expense of all others. The ground rules are established for all. In theory, anyone breaking those rules regardless their ethnic background is judged and penalized accordingly, meaning fairly.

I’m sure some will blanch at the idea, but the US has slowly formed into an equal ethnic opportunity. All must work. All must pay their own bills and make a reasonable contribution. None are allowed illegal entrance but ethnicity is safe as long as it doesn’t abuse the law or the rights of others.

But back to the word itself. [Read more…]