“Emotional Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman

Emotional Intelligence is a must read for every parent. It speaks to an area of human development that has huge implications for personal health, relationship happiness and success in business (what every parent wants for their children).

Emotional issues, however, have been mostly ignored up until recent history and current research is scattered here and yon. Goleman brings all the relevant information together in one source and makes the point that emotional health is not only imperative it is possible for all.

The good news is, the information is useful for every person at any stage in life. Whether your children are young adults or prenatal it’s never too late or early. Even older adults have something to gain from this read.

Goleman does what hasn’t been done before, associating intelligence with emotion and suggesting that this kind of smarts is as important, if not more, than the academic kind. In fact, he sites studies that suggest the difference between success and failure has more to do with emotional intelligence (EQ) than it does with IQ. That is actually the opening argument of the book, “Why it (EQ) can matter more than IQ.”

The book proves convincingly that no one must be a slave to so called “inborn temperament” or to life altering experiences.

• Emotional nurturing in the young helps them develop the right perspectives and skills for managing life as it happens in their future.
• Emotional training, after the fact, enables us to overcome upsetting experiences of the past.

And both of these can be accomplished without loads of medication.

Goleman introduces a new word, “attunement” which if understood well can be the means of protecting children against unhealthy emotional attachments in adolescence. This word is woven into his discussion on leadership in another book of his, Primal Leadership.

He also deals with a more familiar word, “empathy,” but, relating it to real life situations, he gives it more than the usual dictionary definition.

Goleman, no academic slouch, has a PhD and wrote for The New York Times (12 years, specializing in psychology and brain sciences). He generously sites relevant research on the topic. The book is well referenced, has a thorough index and includes appendices but don’t let the academic slant scare you. It is written well enough for any person with any educational background to grasp the relevant issues. As you read you’ll find yourself creating “how to” scenarios for managing your own relationships.

You can find used books at reduced prices in the second hand book shops but once you add in the fuel costs and travel time it is just as cheap to buy a used copy online here.

If you love your kids, married partner, friends and work associates; if you want more out of life, you’ll read this book.

THINK!AboutIt