Generally, people have no idea what a divorce involves.
They focus mostly on the “right and wrong” of getting a divorce and a large number opt to oppose the idea for any reason. It is generally not well accepted, especially in religious circles, so the practicalities of getting a divorce are usually ignored.
While some divorces can be avoided and we applaud couples who manage to stay together, not every marriage can be saved. And, if that is true then we should put as much time into helping people get through a divorce effectively as we do helping them to avoid it. Little, however, is offered in that regard.
Often friends, associates and even family continue to express regret over the breakup, after the fact, which only feeds the pain and does little to help the struggling party get on with life.
It is no wonder that divorce is one of the most traumatic experiences a person can go through. Not only are they dissolving one of the closest relationships in life, they are left hanging with very few understanding friends who are willing or able to meet their emotional needs or provide guidance. That is tantamount to losing support from every direction.
But that is where Tracy Scorzafava’s book comes in handy.
In DIVORCE 101: A WOMAN’S GUIDE TO DIVORCE Tracy provides emotional insight and practical support for those navigating a divorce and she is writing from experience. She’s been there and in her experience:
Everyone had a different opinion on what I should do, but no one gave me a clear plan of action.
Hence DIVORCE 101: A WOMAN’S GUIDE TO DIVORCE in which Tracy provides a wealth of very helpful information for women considering, filing or recovering after divorce.
Regarding emotional issues Tracy warns ladies not to make their decisions in the heat of the moment – or another relationship – and they can expect to feel sadness, guilt, disbelief, hurt, anger and despair during the process. Any or all of these emotions are normal.
In the first few sections of the book she shares things you wouldn’t normally think of and after reading these sections you realize how ill prepared people are for divorce. She includes:
- Advice on preparing properly such as: separating income, mail, insurance, taxes and financial accounts. Having accounts in both names means either party can be held responsible for financial obligations.
- A list of dirty divorce Tricks.
- Advice on separation, handling domestic abuse and dating issues.
- A list of information needed along with tables and forms to keep track of important data.
- Directions for calculating your living expenses.
This isn’t a book you would sit and read through in its entirety before initiating divorce but it can serve as a reference for just about anyone at any point in the process.
- The many types of divorces.
- How to manage lawyers.
- Splitting the assets.
- Child custody and support issues – the largest part of the book.
- And more.
The book is sprinkled throughout with forms for managing important information and provides state specific rulings regarding: property division, child custody, child support and alimony.
The legal aspects of the book are based on US law but the planning aspects are universal.
The book is well seasoned with Caution. Tracy is not suggesting you do anything without due diligence. She’s not even selling a particular lawyer or approach. In fact, she says you should try saving your marriage with counseling first. If the counseling doesn’t work, you at least know you have made your best effort.
If you think your marriage is on the blink and not sure what to do next, Divorce 101 will give you practical guidance. Don’t let your lack of knowledge set you back even more.
I wouldn’t wish a divorce on anyone but I wouldn’t wish it to be more difficult than necessary either. If you are facing the prospects of a divorce, do the wise thing. Get the book and make use of Tracy’s insight.
Many books are purchased and professionals consulted when planning a wedding and the same should be true when planning a divorce. Both require diligent, intelligent planning. Don’t let pain or sadness keep you from doing the smart thing. Learn from your past and plan your future.
If you prefer a digital copy, Tracy’s book can be downloaded here and the download comes with several free bonuses to help you get through your divorce wisely.
Other Recommended Books
If you are a young woman, only a few years into marriage and facing inevitable divorce…AND you need a friend, this book is for you. Reviewers have painted it as food and solace for the hurting soul:
“This book was like an old friend, comforting me, guiding me through the process, assuring me that everything I was feeling was normal and to be expected.”
“It gave me hope that I might one day be happy again.”
“I was looking for something that spoke to me, in a girlfriend type of tone, not a preaching tone and this (book) was perfect.”
“Reading this book is like having my best girlfriend sitting next to me encouraging me that what I’m about to go through will only make me stronger and that I WILL in fact survive and be better off for it and a MUCH happier person!”
The book doesn’t claim to take the place of therapy and doesn’t encourage divorce but provides real support for those who find it unavoidable.
If your marriage is failing and you don’t feel loved but you aren’t quite ready for divorce court yet, your problem might be more solvable than you think. In The Five Love Languages Dr. Chapman departs from academic definitions of love, which are mostly intellectual and therefore cold, and discusses a love he refers to as “emotional.” This is the romantic love often portrayed in novels and movies and rooted in our psychological makeup.
He explains that even two good partners can easily fall out of love if they don’t learn how to love each other properly, in the right”language.” The adjustments are not difficult and languages are easy to understand. Many call his approach miraculous. Get the book. It’s a small price to pay to save a marriage.