Routine Focuses On The Goal
Scheduling Focuses On The Clock
Of all the words you could choose to describe good parenting “Routine” is one of the least attractive. Everyone knows that routine is constructive but the word is often associated more with “boring” or “monotonous” rather than “useful.”
The problem may be caused by the fact that routine is identified with time management and schedules, which can be a bit overbearing at times. Some people are so tightly scheduled there is no room for spontaneity at all. Fortunately, routine living and scheduling are not the same as the following comparison shows:
- Routine involves a few actions you take regularly over time. A schedule involves every second of every day.
- Routine has a distant focus, a goal. Scheduling is more focused on the present, the time you have at hand.
- Routine gets material results. Scheduling’s only result is the satisfaction you derive from filling your entire day with acceptable activity. At the end of a successfully scheduled day you can say with conviction: “I’ve done nothing wrong. I’ve wasted no time.”
- Routine has an accumulative effect. The things you accomplish with routine last. The satisfaction you gain from managing time well on one day is lost at the beginning of the next.
- Routine is not so tightly structured and, therefore, allows for spontaneity and flexibility without frustration. Scheduling is firm and fixed. Deviations produce guilt not unexpected pleasures.
- Routines relate to goals. Schedules relate to time.
- Routines teach us discipline. Tight schedules make us obsessive.
Schedules are easily thrown out of balance, like when we make unplanned visits to the doctor for unexpected illnesses. Routines allow for this sort of thing. Unexpected visits to the Dr.’s office can disrupt a schedule for days to come. Not so much with a routine.
Scheduling is occasionally necessary, yes, but hardly a life rule.
So schedules are helpful but a routine is better. One is the servant, the other is the master. Each person should have no more schedule than is needed. Every person must have a routine.
To-the-second schedules are impossible to maintain anyway so don’t even try to go there and there are very few people that need tight schedules. Kids never do. Every child needs routine so that should be the focus.
Admittedly, some people love a tight schedule and thrive on it. It’s their nature. Their kids, because of genetics, may share that nature. Maybe. There’s no guarantee. But everyone needs routine, even the time sensitive. There is no guarantee a well timed schedule will accomplish the important goals we all need to reach.
Routine is the foundation of achievement, which does occur in time, yes, but not necessarily on schedule.
- People who save routinely reach financial goals.
- People who complete segments of study and work routinely eventually become accomplished.
- People who relate to others routinely build strong bonds.
Routines happen daily, weekly, monthly and yearly. They are not controlled by order or time and become boring only when there is no ultimate goal in mind.
When routine has a focus we learn to feel good about the progress we make toward the target and we feel even better when we reach the goal.
Routines established early become the habits that drive progress.
To establish a routine, instead of a schedule, you should ask life-goal questions and answer them with activities that work. For example: “What routines will help my child . . .”
- Be more intelligent: Reading, wrestling with age appropriate problems, conversing openly.
- Remain healthy and strong: eat a balanced diet, exercise (play) regularly.
- Become financially secure: Learn to budget, save regularly.
These things require time but they aren’t time based, no 9 to 5 schedule involved.
If you want your child to grow don’t require them to read between 3 and 4 PM everyday. Just insist they read regularly four or five days a week. You’ll accomplish the same thing without becoming fanatical.
Next: Responsibility, Part 1
THINK!About It
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