Love Produces Feelings
Even If It Isn’t One
Every person is born with an empty heart. It’s the place where the soul is. It can’t be measured with a ruler or inflated with gas. It’s more metaphysical than physical.
It’s like a non-material version of the stomach. The heart is to the stomach what the mind is to the brain.
A vacuum that longs for emotional nourishment, it constantly needs refilling.
What it needs most is love, and begins screaming for it soon after conception. Unfortunately, it has no choice other than to accept whatever is offered, love or not.
Saying it needs “Love” is a bit vague, though, so let’s explore the idea.
What Is The Evidence A Person Is Loved
We really need to ask:
How does anyone know they’ve been loved?
What should they expect? What does the before and after look like?
One way to answer the question is to talk about feelings!
It’s often said that love isn’t a feeling, and I partly agree, but is that absolutely right? Don’t feelings follow? Shouldn’t love generate desirable feelings like security, respect, safety, affirmation, confidence, usefulness, and more.
Who doesn’t need to feel these things?
Unfortunately, infants, who are the quickest to let you know when they feel badly, don’t have the knowledge or experience to understand the difference between what is and isn’t love. They’re vulnerable.
They may not like what they get, like disgust or neglect which produces fear, shame, self-loathing and more, but eventually, if things don’t change, they’ll assume it is the norm.
Bad or not, it is what it is. If it isn’t really love then maybe they don’t deserve it.
Once that becomes the benchmark, they’ll look for the same sensations in all future relationships. Instead of loving connections, they will be drawn to abuse and degradation.
It won’t feel good, but it will feel normal.
Obviously, love is a popular topic. Abusive or not, we can’t get over it or beyond it. We write about it, sing about it, make movies about it and think about it often.
Even heavy metal bands sing about love.
Fortunately, love is not something you deserve. Every person needs to be loved whether they’ve earned the right or not. And It’s like food. A regular diet of love makes you spiritually healthier and therefore more deserving.
Love infuses value. Everybody needs it.