NowTHINK!AboutIt

Avoiding Hackneyed...Making Sense

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Living Is Counseling

January 1, 2019 by EnnisP Leave a Comment

Everything we say and do sends signals. The non-verbal signals are the loudest and most pointed of all.

You Can Be Neutral
Only If You Declare Your Neutrality

In most cases, counseling is something that happens only when necessary and is usually arranged by special appointment. People who require counseling for non-medical reasons are dealing with problems stemming from past experiences and those problems are effecting the quality of life in the present.

That’s the short explanation, what we’ve been led to think, but it raises an important question. How do people avoid problems in the first place?

The counseling process is complicated. In fact, it’s mysterious because humans are complex and experiences, both good and bad, add to that complexity. We’re not as normal as we like to think, or even worse, maybe we are.

The most popular version of counseling is after-the-fact crisis management. It’s the solution we turn to not because we have a problem but because the problem, undetected heretofore, has been around long enough for us to reach overload. It’s entrenched and won’t be easily dislodged. Counseling, where we hope to find the answer, is more like a slow and tedious untangling process than a quick fix. There’s no pill for this.

The process includes a bit of self-discovery, others discovery, and experience analysis. These three elements are the basic influences in every person’s life. They teach us how to think and act.

But what I just described is only one type of counseling. The people who provide it are professionals and it only takes place after the fact. It’s corrective, not prophylactic.

The Bigger Picture

But what about the rest of life? How do people learn to believe in themselves or not? Why do some people develop a fear of water? When do people become afraid of crowds? What influences these outcomes?

Nature plays a part but only a small part. The website, Very Well Mind, provides a short list of 98 phobias. It’s only a partial list but it’s long enough to show there aren’t enough natures to go around. The bigger causes must be found elsewhere.

Medical News Today says,

It is unusual for a phobia to start after the age of 30 years, and most begin during early childhood, the teenage years or early adulthood.

They can be caused by a stressful experience, a frightening event or a parent or household member with a phobia that a child can learn.

And there you have it. It’s more about timing than nature. All the input is external and happens in the most formative years. Nature is not the culprit. Phobias are nurtured.

Both good and bad qualities, strengths and weaknesses, are being shaped by people and experiences.

Faith Over Fear Tees

Counseling Happens Everyday

Counseling happens 24/7 in everyday life. Living is counseling. If you’re alive, you’re counseling and being counseled.

There may very well be times when a special problem arises that requires professional attention, but at all other times, I am counseling others by the way I live. The way I manage money, time, relationships counsels others in how to manage these things too.

Everything I do, everything I say and every attitude I entertain sends a message to those around me. I am counseling everyone around me, and everyone around me is counseling me.

It isn’t intentional, but it is real.

The more influence one has, the more their counsel takes hold.

What About Moral Issues

We like to think we can live our own lives completely to ourselves and separate from everyone else without interfering, intruding or asserting influence. Not so! [Read more…] about Living Is Counseling

Filed Under: Change, Christian Living, Parenting

IT – Life’s Biggest Obstacle

June 21, 2017 by EnnisP Leave a Comment

IT kills but IT won't die.

You Either Fight With
Or Against IT

Fight IT!

Not him. Not her. Not them. Not that.

IT! That is the trigger. You need look nowhere else.

IT is the obstacle, the non-personal problem standing in your way. IT is that thing that says you can’t do better, you’ll only get worse so there’s no sense trying. Just give up.

And IT is universal. Everyone is plagued with IT. IT is the same for everyone.

IT looms larger for some only because they see IT, observe IT, discuss IT, name IT and believe IT, but they rarely get IT right.

IT isn’t outside you or around you. IT doesn’t happen to you. IT is not the kids, the boss, the wife, the school or anything you can see.

IT loves your inabilities and will take on the appearance of something you can’t do only to draw attention away from all the things you can do. What you can’t do, your inability is not IT.

IT is not god but IT craves and feeds off belief. God wants you to win. IT wants you to do nothing. IT is inertia. IT opposes constructive activity of any kind. Circumstances may flatten you. IT works with circumstance to keep you down.

IT is internal, the little guy on the inside with the annoyingly persistent chatter. The whisper we magnify. But IT has no voice other than the one we give it.

And forward progress isn’t the only issue. The obstacle, whatever IT is, naturally moves us backward. The evidence of IT is self-absorption, self-satisfaction, self-pity and smug complacency. The fruit of IT is insidious decline.

IT is the reason we can’t lose weight, get fit, develop a new skill or reach the goal.

The problem is you can’t destroy IT. IT kills but IT won’t die. IT is always in the background. The trick is to never give in to IT, feed IT or believe IT, but don’t waste time or energy hating IT. IT fades only when we focus on the next step, the one IT doesn’t want us to take.

THINK!About……IT

Filed Under: Change, Getting Fit, Personal Development

Continuous Change Is The Key To Continuous Success

September 1, 2016 by EnnisP Leave a Comment

The New Testament teaches innovation by modeling innovation.

Innovation And
Immunity
Have A Lot
In Common

We normally think of success as being static. That is, once we achieve it, we can relax. Climb the mountain and then boast. We’re set for life.

Recent history tells a different story, though. Fortune 500 companies today may very well be failures tomorrow, especially in today’s shape-shifting market place, suggesting that success needs to be revisited and renewed regularly.

Several Ted Talk specialists share examples of these failures, and successes, and ideas on why it happens and how to avoid one and insure the other. [Read more…] about Continuous Change Is The Key To Continuous Success

Filed Under: Change, Personal Development

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Faith Tees
In Defense of Divorce
This book doesn't say what you've already heard.

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