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Fighting The Good Fight Involves Debate Not Pugilism

May 26, 2024 by EnnisP Leave a Comment

God doesn't have a dog in any fight. Instead, He fights for every dog.

If All We Do
Is Say What’s Already Been Said
We Haven’t Done The Job

It had been several years since I last spoke to this individual. Through others, I had remained aware of what was happening in his life and it became apparent that he was aware of happenings in my life too, but other than exchanging a like or two on Facebook, a distant wave here or there, nothing. So it was a surprise when I got his message that he wanted to FaceTime.

I agreed, of course. We had been acquainted for thirty plus years at that point. I knew him as a kid growing up and I was familiar with the various stages of his development. His story was quite typical.

He grew up in church but, as often happens, his Christianity was mostly superficial. He was a quiet rebel as a youngster: alcohol, drugs and sex. Always nice on the surface. Always pleasant and full of potential but into some serious stuff in the background.

As you might guess, the background issues began taking over and became more apparent as he grew older.

He was loved through it all and, thankfully, came to his senses at a later stage.

And when he did, he was loved just as much at that point as he’d always been. The difference now was that he was also applauded, honored and appreciated for making his way out of an addictive situation. He had apparently become quite dependent on both the alcohol and the drugs. Overcoming in that situation has to be respected. In his case, he did more than just overcome addiction. He also went to university and gained a credible degree. Impressive! [Read more…] about Fighting The Good Fight Involves Debate Not Pugilism

Filed Under: Christian Living, Divorce, Marriage, Philosophy

This Week In Divorce – India’s Muslim Minority

October 25, 2017 by EnnisP Leave a Comment

Did Jesus regulate divorce or cruelty?

It’s A Microcosm
Of The Culture Jesus Faced

On August 22, 2017, India’s Supreme Court banned the Muslim practice of triple-talaq also known as instant-divorce by which a husband could unilaterally divorce a wife instantly by simply saying the word “talaq” to her three times.

The law was so lax that sending the words by text or WhatsApp was sufficient to execute the divorce.

At one time, triple-talaq was the norm in other countries also but India is the last country to ban it by judicial decree. To quote US News:

…While judges or politicians elsewhere across the Muslim world, from Morocco to Indonesia, have managed to reform Islamic laws, bringing them under their own courts or codifying them, this never happened in India.

Until now.

The article also mentions that many of these instantly-divorced women become destitute and homeless.

Calling triple-talaq insensitive is an understatement. It was the worst kind of cruel. It’s banning was celebrated by the ladies.

I mention it here because this represents a modern-day microcosm of marriage practices in the first century. Males were dominant, capricious and arbitrary. Easy divorce was not only possible it was expected during Bible times and the outcome could be just as devastating. [Read more…] about This Week In Divorce – India’s Muslim Minority

Filed Under: Divorce, Law, Marriage

This Week In Divorce – Celebrity Breakups

September 22, 2016 by EnnisP Leave a Comment

With celebrity, air is rarefied but never airs.

Celebrity Marriage
Is A Minefield

It isn’t uncommon for the public to think celebrities hold the highest spot on the divorce-rate list but according to a Radford University study the idea is just a myth.

The study’s findings were based on the 2000 census and isolated rates of divorce by occupation, listing 449 different jobs.

Surprisingly, dancers and choreographers were first on the list with just over 43% divorce rate. Second and third on the list were bartenders and massage therapists. Casino workers, telephone operators, nurses and home health aides were also in the top ten. Celebrities didn’t even get an honorable mention.

So why do we think they’re the worst?

Maybe we should blame the media. They give celebrities a lot of attention, especially when things like divorce are happening, and that does influence perception. Whatever the case, now that we know celebrity breakups don’t happen as frequently as we thought, we should look more closely and find out what makes these unions tick.

Let’s face it, celebrity marriages are strange and that isn’t just another overstated media induced perception. It’s also not a judgment. No condemnation intended.

There are several reasons why these unions are more like minefields than normal marriage and since common folks – the ones with normal marriages – have a difficult time getting marriage right we shouldn’t be surprised or overly critical when celebrity marriages wobble.

If we can turn off the judgment for a little while, we might learn something from their experience that can help the rest avoid marriage-divorce mishaps. We might even learn to be a bit more forgiving. [Read more…] about This Week In Divorce – Celebrity Breakups

Filed Under: Divorce, Family, Marriage

This Week In Divorce – India Still Requires Fault

September 8, 2016 by EnnisP Leave a Comment

Declaring fault is malicious even if it isn't slander.

Incompatibility
Does Not Suggest
Fault

The Hindu reported that Politician Omar Abdullah’s divorce plea from his estranged wife, Payal Abdullah, was denied in court on 30 August 2016.

The circumstances behind the plea and the courts response were interesting.

Omar’s claims paint an ugly picture:

  • Married 1 September 1994
  • Conjugal relations ceased after 2007
  • Lived separately since 2009
  • Accused wife of cruelty, desertion and unreasonable conduct

The couple has two sons living with the mother.

The judge ruled that Omar had failed to prove irretrievable breakdown of the marriage.

I’m neither a judge nor a lawyer but this ruling raises several questions about the wisdom of requiring fault in the case of divorce: [Read more…] about This Week In Divorce – India Still Requires Fault

Filed Under: Divorce, Family, Marriage

This Week In Divorce – India’s Arranged Marriages

August 18, 2016 by EnnisP Leave a Comment

Free-Choice and consequence are the seeds of a fertile life.

Engagement And Marriage
Represent One Of The Most
Emotionally Charged Periods
In Family Life

I’m not an expert on Indian marriage but Utpal Dholakia, native to India but resident in the USA for more than twenty years, can speak with authority on the subject and has.

His recent post on Psychology Today (Why Are So Many Indian Arranged Marriages Successful? 24Nov2015) poses a very interesting question and implies, without actually saying it, that arranged marriage – the method of choice in India – may have the answer to today’s divorce dilemmas.

Although he clearly states he is NOT suggesting arranged is a better option than free-choice, it is definitely implied. The spirit of the article seems to contradict his disclaimer.

It’s an interesting theory, but I’m not convinced. His arguments start out weakly and get worse.

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Before I say more, please understand that I am not talking about Indians in general. I’m not even bashing India. As Utpal points out, India is modernizing at an incredible rate on many levels and that is to be applauded.

I’m also not poking at Utpal, although his article did provoke this response.

I’m questioning the wisdom of endorsing an approach to love and marriage that has a long history of abuse and control. I think we should modernize the perspective a bit.

So, to my response. [Read more…] about This Week In Divorce – India’s Arranged Marriages

Filed Under: Divorce, Family, Marriage

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Faith Tees
Calvinism's Fallacies: Why The Gospel Applies To Anyone, Anywhere, At Any Time, Under Any Circumstance
In Defense of Divorce
This book doesn't say what you've already heard.

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