Celebrity Marriage
Is A Minefield

It isn’t uncommon for the public to think celebrities hold the highest spot on the divorce-rate list but according to a Radford University study the idea is just a myth.

The study’s findings were based on the 2000 census and isolated rates of divorce by occupation, listing 449 different jobs.

Surprisingly, dancers and choreographers were first on the list with just over 43% divorce rate. Second and third on the list were bartenders and massage therapists. Casino workers, telephone operators, nurses and home health aides were also in the top ten. Celebrities didn’t even get an honorable mention.

So why do we think they’re the worst?

Maybe we should blame the media. They give celebrities a lot of attention, especially when things like divorce are happening, and that does influence perception. Whatever the case, now that we know celebrity breakups don’t happen as frequently as we thought, we should look more closely and find out what makes these unions tick.

Let’s face it, celebrity marriages are strange and that isn’t just another overstated media induced perception. It’s also not a judgment. No condemnation intended.

There are several reasons why these unions are more like minefields than normal marriage and since common folks – the ones with normal marriages – have a difficult time getting marriage right we shouldn’t be surprised or overly critical when celebrity marriages wobble.

If we can turn off the judgment for a little while, we might learn something from their experience that can help the rest avoid marriage-divorce mishaps. We might even learn to be a bit more forgiving. [Read more…] about This Week In Divorce – Celebrity Breakups

Incompatibility
Does Not Suggest
Fault

The Hindu reported that Politician Omar Abdullah’s divorce plea from his estranged wife, Payal Abdullah, was denied in court on 30 August 2016.

The circumstances behind the plea and the courts response were interesting.

Omar’s claims paint an ugly picture:

• Married 1 September 1994
• Conjugal relations ceased after 2007
• Lived separately since 2009
• Accused wife of cruelty, desertion and unreasonable conduct

The couple has two sons living with the mother.

The judge ruled that Omar had failed to prove irretrievable breakdown of the marriage.

I’m neither a judge nor a lawyer but this ruling raises several questions about the wisdom of requiring fault in the case of divorce: [Read more…] about This Week In Divorce – India Still Requires Fault

Engagement And Marriage
Represent One Of The Most
Emotionally Charged Periods
In Family Life

I’m not an expert on Indian marriage but Utpal Dholakia, native to India but resident in the USA for more than twenty years, can speak with authority on the subject and has.

His recent post on Psychology Today (Why Are So Many Indian Arranged Marriages Successful? 24Nov2015) poses a very interesting question and implies, without actually saying it, that arranged marriage – the method of choice in India – may have the answer to today’s divorce dilemmas.

Although he clearly states he is NOT suggesting arranged is a better option than free-choice, it is definitely implied. The spirit of the article seems to contradict his disclaimer.

It’s an interesting theory, but I’m not convinced. His arguments start out weakly and get worse.

Before I say more, please understand that I am not talking about Indians in general. I’m not even bashing India. As Utpal points out, India is modernizing at an incredible rate on many levels and that is to be applauded.

I’m also not poking at Utpal, although his article did provoke this response.

I’m questioning the wisdom of endorsing an approach to love and marriage that has a long history of abuse and control. I think we should modernize the perspective a bit.

So, to my response. [Read more…] about This Week In Divorce – India’s Arranged Marriages