NowTHINK!AboutIt

Avoiding Hackneyed...Making Sense

5 Truths About The Changes God Makes

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Change is just as certain as death and taxes.

Every One Changes
Every Day

Change is what we do. It can’t be avoided. The problem is we don’t always change in the best ways or the right direction.

Sometimes abilities lay dormant. We don’t make the effort to develop them.

Sometimes abilities diminish. We develop them and then don’t use them.

Sometimes we take on bad habits or waste energy attempting to be things we can’t or shouldn’t. Not wrong things but things outside the limitations of our talent set.

Sometimes and worst of all – but strangely acceptable to most – we plateau. We reach above-average, rest on our laurels and stop forging ahead.

The Bible gives us many reasons to see Change differently. [Read more…] about 5 Truths About The Changes God Makes

4 Important Things You Must Do Everyday

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Relationally we're all different and the same.

Thinking
Is Never A Waste

With fast paced schedules and relentless demands, life can be hectic. Battle, chaos, tumult all round. Overload! Confusing!

It’s easy to get lost in the melee and feel the ground slipping at the end of each day. But all is not lost. In fact, very little. Your sense of frustration, your lack of accomplishment may be more a matter of perspective than reality.

The way to feeling a sense of balance, if not accomplishment, requires nothing more than a map. Include the following four items in your daily life, in no particular order, and your sense of accomplishment will improve.

Be Relational

When it comes to relationship nature, we are all different, but when it comes to relationship needs, we are all the same.

Everyone needs acceptance and affirmation. But to receive that, you must give it.

But what is that, other than two sides of the same coin. Can you affirm a person without accepting them? Can you accept a person and not affirm them? Acceptance happens when: [Read more…] about 4 Important Things You Must Do Everyday

7 Reasons Your Thoughts Matter

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Not trying produces automatic failure.

Change Your Mind
Change Your Life

Success is something everyone wants, but what is that? It can mean many different things.

Success is defined as the accomplishment of one’s goals and it applies broadly to any person and any kind of goal, from virtuous to diabolical.

We also define specific areas of success in different ways. Financial success for one person may mean having enough wealth to sustain a certain level of status. Another may feel successful just to be quietly secure.

Success has a lot to do with how you feel about yourself and your situation.

But however you define success, some tools are exactly the same for those who achieve it, and one of the most important tools is your mindset. Your mental outlook. How and what you think.

In short, how you see yourself and the world around you matters.

Mindset Is Not A Personality Trait

You’re not a victim! Mindset has little to do with personality traits. Quiet people don’t need to become flamboyant fountains of effervescence to be successful.

Positive can apply to both extroverts and introverts. How naturally loud or vocal a person is, is not a reflection of mindset.

There may be genetic factors involved, but all things being equal, a person’s outlook is shaped by childhood relationships and experiences. And how you think really does matter.

Humans Are Wired For Achievement

First of all a few thoughts on human achievement. We are engineered to succeed and are more than capable to do so.

Just think about how we came to be. We started as nothing more than a microscopic ball of embryonic cells enveloped in fluid. Then, over the next nine months developed into a breathing, eating, flailing, screaming – not to mention peeing and pooping – 7 pound infant.

That oft repeated cycle indicates that humans are wired for change.

Which means, of course, that whatever the ultimate purpose of any individual’s life, change is a big part of the formula.

If you’re not convinced, remember that in many cases that microscopic nothingness eventually becomes a brain surgeon or heart surgeon or astrophysicists. The one constant is that many layers of change are involved in the process.

If you’re thinking at this point that that doesn’t always happen or doesn’t happen enough, you’re right. It doesn’t. There are no guarantees. So the question is, “Why does it happen for some and not for others?”

There are many answers but one factor common to every failure or success is mindset. How a person views him or herself and the world at large. The right attitude makes good things possible.

Parents Are A Part Of The Process

Another good question to ask is “Where am I now?” Am I positive or negative? Am I making progress or falling behind? Do I generally succeed or fail?

However you answer those questions, another consideration to make is how your parents factored into the mix. A child’s mindset is often the mirror image of the parents.

Like it or not, in many ways you have your parents to thank for who you are. You may not be your parents but what you are is at least a response to them. Were they hard or considerate, mean or gracious, aggressive or patient, generous or critical?

Your answer to that question can explain a lot about who you are.

But to be clear, I’m not talking about biology. Genetics is not the issue. The primary caregivers in your life, biological or not, are role models. Their attitudes become yours. Imprinting happens automatically.

To get started, you must first determine the image your parents modelled and how it bled over into your attitudes. You will no doubt find some good things and some not-so-good things. That’s the starting place.

I’m not suggesting you judge your parents. Judgment in this case offends them and offers nothing healthy to you. Blaming is never an answer. Think like Gandhi. Be the change!

The good news is, whatever your childhood experiences, you can change in any direction. If you need to move further in the right direction, it can happen. If you need revamping, that can happen too. And the changes can happen at any stage in life.

Starting With The Negative

Unfortunately we need to start with the negative because everyone has a little bit of that in their life.

No one is perfect. Your parents aren’t perfect. Your siblings aren’t perfect. Your friends aren’t perfect. Your teachers aren’t perfect. No one is perfect.

What that means is we have all been exposed to imperfect people, and have no doubt picked up on their faults. A little self discovery will reveal the warts. The question is, “How do we change that?” What can we do to avoid further decline?

Following are a few things you may be tempted to do but don’t cave. Each one is a waste of time.

Now, the seven reasons your thoughts matter.

Or don’t waste time: [Read more…] about 7 Reasons Your Thoughts Matter

7 Thoughts On Processing Anger

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Anger has context.

Good Humor Needs Anger
To Deal
With Reality

Going Postal is a catch phrase popularized in the last few decades. In everyday usage it often connotes humour, but the phrase stems from very tragic events.

In at least 20 separate incidence between the years 1986 and 1997, 40 individuals were gunned down in various post office locations by people who worked at the post office or had worked there in the past. Hence the term Going Postal.

The one thing all the perpetrators had in common was anger. In each case the anger had been boiling under the surface and eventually erupted in murderous rage, otherwise known as workplace rage. Consequently, anger is thought of only in bad terms. It gets a bad wrap.

Ridding society of anger, however, is not the solution. Anger has actually served many useful purposes.

It is because people became angry that:

  • Slavery was ended
  • Women were allowed to vote
  • Workers wages were made livable
  • Divorce laws were made more humane
  • Rhinos could be protected
  • Nature could be preserved

These milestones represent great progress in the development of human culture. Anger was a motivating force behind each. That means anger isn’t a bad thing and the Bible agrees.

Be angry, and sin not: don’t let the sun go down upon your wrath. (Ephesians 4:26)

Marriage illustrates this well. According to Hannah Fry, good marriages are the ones in which the partners have a low threshold for negativity. That is, rather than let small irritations go, strong marriages are those in which the partners mention them immediately. Marriages in which partners ignore irritations are the ones vulnerable to spiralling into a divorce rage.

Since small irritations, though harmless in the moment, have the potential to spiral into death-grip rage we need to talk about anger. [Read more…] about 7 Thoughts On Processing Anger

5 Reasons Mom Has More Appeal Than Dad

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When Mom looks at her child, she sees potential not need.

Relationally
Moms Travel 180°

No one comes into this world without both a mother and a father, but Mom clearly has a head start in the race for relationship. Not only does she carry the biggest load, no pun intended, but in the category of supporting role, she has a clear advantage over Dad and usually receives most of the votes.

Mom’s influence is universally so pervading and wholesome we have a long list of pithy sayings expressing how generally wonderful and clever she is.

  • Mother knows best!
  • A Mother’s love never ends!
  • Mothers hold their child’s hand for a moment and their heart for a lifetime!

And examples of Mother’s influence abound.

Arianna Huffington named her mother as the most influential role model in her life.

Bill Gate’s philanthropy was influenced by his mother’s example and words.

Kat Cole transitioned from Babe status at Hooters to business mogul at Cinnabon because her mother said:

You can do anything and I expect you to do everything.

We can’t say enough about Mom. She is probably one of the most affectionately thought of individuals in the world, wedging Dad out by a long shot. Dad is loved also but the question remains: “Why does Mom seemingly maintain such a big lead in the race?” I came up with five quick answers. There may be more. [Read more…] about 5 Reasons Mom Has More Appeal Than Dad