Change Your Mind
Change Your Life

Success is something everyone wants, but what is that? It can mean many different things.

Success is defined as the accomplishment of one’s goals and it applies broadly to any person and any kind of goal, from virtuous to diabolical.

We also define specific areas of success in different ways. Financial success for one person may mean having enough wealth to sustain a certain level of status. Another may feel successful just to be quietly secure.

Success has a lot to do with how you feel about yourself and your situation.

But however you define success, some tools are exactly the same for those who achieve it, and one of the most important tools is your mindset. Your mental outlook. How and what you think.

In short, how you see yourself and the world around you matters.

Mindset Is Not A Personality Trait

You’re not a victim! Mindset has little to do with personality traits. Quiet people don’t need to become flamboyant fountains of effervescence to be successful.

Positive can apply to both extroverts and introverts. How naturally loud or vocal a person is, is not a reflection of mindset.

There may be genetic factors involved, but all things being equal, a person’s outlook is shaped by childhood relationships and experiences. And how you think really does matter.

Humans Are Wired For Achievement

First of all a few thoughts on human achievement. We are engineered to succeed and are more than capable to do so.

Just think about how we came to be. We started as nothing more than a microscopic ball of embryonic cells enveloped in fluid. Then, over the next nine months developed into a breathing, eating, flailing, screaming – not to mention peeing and pooping – 7 pound infant.

That oft repeated cycle indicates that humans are wired for change.

Which means, of course, that whatever the ultimate purpose of any individual’s life, change is a big part of the formula.

If you’re not convinced, remember that in many cases that microscopic nothingness eventually becomes a brain surgeon or heart surgeon or astrophysicists. The one constant is that many layers of change are involved in the process.

If you’re thinking at this point that that doesn’t always happen or doesn’t happen enough, you’re right. It doesn’t. There are no guarantees. So the question is, “Why does it happen for some and not for others?”

There are many answers but one factor common to every failure or success is mindset. How a person views him or herself and the world at large. The right attitude makes good things possible.

Parents Are A Part Of The Process

Another good question to ask is “Where am I now?” Am I positive or negative? Am I making progress or falling behind? Do I generally succeed or fail?

However you answer those questions, another consideration to make is how your parents factored into the mix. A child’s mindset is often the mirror image of the parents.

Like it or not, in many ways you have your parents to thank for who you are. You may not be your parents but what you are is at least a response to them. Were they hard or considerate, mean or gracious, aggressive or patient, generous or critical?

Your answer to that question can explain a lot about who you are.

But to be clear, I’m not talking about biology. Genetics is not the issue. The primary caregivers in your life, biological or not, are role models. Their attitudes become yours. Imprinting happens automatically.

To get started, you must first determine the image your parents modelled and how it bled over into your attitudes. You will no doubt find some good things and some not-so-good things. That’s the starting place.

I’m not suggesting you judge your parents. Judgment in this case offends them and offers nothing healthy to you. Blaming is never an answer. Think like Gandhi. Be the change!

The good news is, whatever your childhood experiences, you can change in any direction. If you need to move further in the right direction, it can happen. If you need revamping, that can happen too. And the changes can happen at any stage in life.

Starting With The Negative

Unfortunately we need to start with the negative because everyone has a little bit of that in their life.

No one is perfect. Your parents aren’t perfect. Your siblings aren’t perfect. Your friends aren’t perfect. Your teachers aren’t perfect. No one is perfect.

What that means is we have all been exposed to imperfect people, and have no doubt picked up on their faults. A little self discovery will reveal the warts. The question is, “How do we change that?” What can we do to avoid further decline?

Following are a few things you may be tempted to do but don’t cave. Each one is a waste of time.

Now, the seven reasons your thoughts matter.

Or don’t waste time: [Read more…]