NowTHINK!AboutIt

Avoiding Hackneyed...Making Sense

Contemplating Marriage? Answer These Questions!

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Strong relationships avoid the erosive effects of slight irritations by focusing on the positives.

Praising Your Partners Good Qualities
Inspires More of the Same

Unfortunately, there are no perfect couples. Some couples may be perfect for each other but because marriages are only inhabited by imperfect people none can be absolutely perfect.

What that means is . . .

Quietly lurking in the background at every wedding are the faults that each person brings to the union. We all have them.

Couples aren’t too bothered by them before they marry because love is in the air. People attending the wedding don’t pay much attention to them because they are focused on how handsome the couple looks and all the reasons they make such a great pair.

But over time the balance changes.

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Once we move away from the altar and settle into a routine the things each partner loves about the other get taken for granted and irritations are felt.

It isn’t serious initially. First offenses usually register as nothing more bothersome than a drop of rain.

But if the couple doesn’t learn to process those drops effectively they mount up.

One drop a day over two weeks isn’t serious.

One drop a day over 30 years adds up to more than 10,000 drops, approximately 500 kilograms. That is a lot of “heavy” for one relationship to bear.

Because of that, every couple contemplating marriage should ask two questions. [Read more…] about Contemplating Marriage? Answer These Questions!

Comment Savvy – Be Nice!

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Because many websites are designed to elicit responses, people feel quite free to say what they think and many brave souls do. But after reading through various comments it is obvious that the skills for communicating respectfully, rather than down or slightingly, are not apparent.

And to make it worse, some, in an expression of contempt, will sprinkle their remarks with all kinds of unwanted language, usually aimed at other people. More like a diatribe than a dialogue.

Feeding this tendency is the fact that we don’t see the other parties and will probably never meet them so why worry about the rage our comments provoke. Let it rip. Say what you really think. Fire off a response with no regard for the person at the other end.

And if anyone doesn’t like it, who cares! Haven’t we fought for the right to speak freely.

Yes, the first amendment protects the right to speak freely but those who wrote that principle into law were well experienced in making and responding to arguments respectfully. They sometimes spoke heatedly in the process of carving out constitutional rights but they remained focused on the issue not the respondents.

And they made the assumption that we, the constituents, would understand that insulting, hateful, dismissive, contradictory, vindictive and threatening remarks aimed at individuals were not fundamentals of free speech.

We have proven them wrong on that account and that is why recent laws have been written to curb our vicious free speaking tendencies.

Yes, it is a great privilege not only to think but also to share our thoughts but remember the following rules before and as you write. [Read more…] about Comment Savvy – Be Nice!